2014

Hmm... 2014:)

I'm going to be honest. I had  mixed feelings on New Year's Eve.  I LOVE even numbers and the year was one of my favorites. Not that I hadn't had my brush with bad news, blood, sweat, or tears... it's just that I had a hard time letting it go | It's hard to let go of a year that you always felt would come.. But you have to settle on knowing there's more...
You live and you learn that it doesn't stop here. It doesn't stop wherever you are..

I may not have passed every test, but for the ones that I have, and for the moments that have stretched me,  it's been worth the journey.

And the journey is what we live for. The journey makes the destination worth our arrival.

Last Song...

Rehearsing with my grumpy cats before ALFWC's Christmas Spectacular ..

Merry Christmas!!

When We Lose One of Our Favorites...

It was just 2 weeks ago when our church and first family experienced this huge blow to our hearts. We lost one of the most passionate, quick witted, fast-talking, hilarious, resourceful, wise, inspiring, hardworking, genuine, down to earth, LOVING, inclusive, unselfish persons that you'd ever want to meet. He was life, charisma, laughter and joy all packed into one man. I can assure you that wherever he was, there were smiles... often, a result of his antics or - encouraging words.

I called him Uncle Swann Swann... We weren't related.

Feature Blogger #1: "Your Failures Are Not Final" by Shana Schutte

This one's good : ) .. Reminds me of why I wrote "Try."

Give yourself permission to obey God! And do your best...He'll do the rest.

Seasons, Change - Happy Fall!

Fall is Here!!

I love this season.. never liked it too hot or too cold so FALL and SPRING have always been my first loves. Yesterday, marked the start of warm apple cider and hot chocolate with whipped cream,  baked ham, sweet potatoes, greens and cornbread, layers of warm clothing, scarves and high boots.. this is my kind of life, anything that suggests cozy living..

What relief is it to us that seasons change on their own.. no human effort required; that every 3 months or so the sky knows what to do with its rain, the wind, determines either to settle down or throw itself around, the air, is either packed with hot moisture or chill, and we... deal with it : ).. Whether you're a summer person or winter lover, it seems like we're all waiting for our preferred living conditions to arrive... we're all waiting for change to come...

Ray Rice and Other Thoughts on the Golden Rule: A Response

I have to be honest -- I was a little bothered after reading responses to the Ray Rice scandal on Facebook.

As soon as Janay indicated she would stand by Rice in the light of what really happened on that elevator (which, in my opinion, was obvious without the new video leak).. FB blew up again - NOT withholding unfiltered ridicule and name-calling. I don't know what the commentary was to accomplish, but it seemed as though the general public was unconcerned, and maybe even hoping that the Rices would stumble across their taunts.

I must preface this writing by admitting that perhaps because I've seen this guy a few times on campus, held a conversation or 2, went to football games and threw rice on the field.. he's not just a face on the TV screen. I preface this by saying, I DO NOT, in any way agree with or intend to minimize what he did, BUT, I do consider him human, and so is Janay. I do consider them to have hearts, and wills, and emotions. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in the public eye at your darkest moment, but it was a lot for me -- to wake up to a newsfeed full of  popular consensus to throw them away.

I resolved to pray for them, but meanwhile on FB...

Because You Have To...

The wholeee summer flew by.
I literally don't know where it went.

One minute I'm sleeping over a friend's house, then maybe I was singing somewhere, then there was church, a few family get togethers, cookouts,  a wedding, and what happens...?

I'm driving to work one day and it occurs to me --
"I haven't stepped foot near one, large, body of water.."

(...and my tub, doesn't count)

"Life Was So Different This Time Last Year"

Because it was different, and it still can be, twice over,  this time, next year..

Because I  saw this quote on Instagram years ago and quickly assumed it would only apply to me if I experienced some major life change like getting married or having my first child.

...Because I was wrong.
 And life can be so different 365 days from now all because you took a step... you said yes - you went out on a limb..

These are a few of my favorite songs...

I LOVE Kierra! Ever since "The Safest Place" duet with her mom in '96 KiKi has been singgging...!! And not just singing -- ministering, worshipping... and introducing Jesus in a way that is so unique and tangible to young people.  My absolute favorite song on this project is "In YOU." It takes me somewhere else!! But I couldn't find it on YOUTube, so ... here's my 2nd favorite : ) #MOVINGFORWARD

Honorable Mentions: "Flaws," "Kill the Dragon," "2nd Win," "Reppin' My God," "No Graceland,"and every interlude that reminds us of her family's legacy of singers. That spin on The Clark Sisters' "Balm??" I LOVE. Basically the whole album is amazing, but she's from Detroit ya'll... so you kinda have to be cool to blast this in your car ; )

"Dear Church Baby..." Part 4

My pastor has been teaching recently on the Word of God as a seed, ready to produce -  that God is a purposeful Sower.. sowing Himself into His children and His word into our hearts. We learned that our hearts are like soil, only capable of  producing if tilled well and ready for receiving. 

Are our hearts fertile? Are they good ground?  
Are we open for growth? Are we surrendered to the planting? 

"Dear Church Baby..." Part 3

Dear Church Baby, 

Where are you going?

It was because I knew I needed to stay, in life's hardest trials, that I did.
...Not in my own strength - just relying on His.

These Girls...

I like them -- #mysisters
; )

For Every Time..

... for every time You didn't give me what I asked for..
... for every prayer you "didn't answer.."
... for every replacement, every removal -
... for every clear path, out of the rubble...


... for every time You called me closer when loved ones pushed me away.
... Your hand, Your leading...Your peace and unmatched comfort...
... for every time I didn't hear You, and You spoke a bit louder..
... for every time I didn't fit in, and it was because I wasn't meant to...

... for every time I had to walk away; You put the want-to in my feet.
... for every time I needed to stay and Your strength kept me rooted - more than planted, I was grounded.

... For being an "every time" God  - never leaving me without..

I'd just like to say THANK YOU, every time, I have a chance...

And this is what happens when you try to write a psalm..

#Gratitude

#SheaWrites

Embrace

I wrote this song one night as I considered how effective we could be in the kingdom of God if we truly grasped early on that we were called to be God's agents, his earthly angels, maybe?  ...If we were steady witnesses and distributors of His love, His goodness, and His heart towards all men.. If maybe...we weren't so focused on ourselves...

Writer Quotes..

 "A writer never has a vacation.
For a writer, life consists of either writing or thinking about writing."
- Eugene Ionesco

"Most of the basic material a writer works with is acquired before the age of fifteen."

- Willa Cather

Quotes for Poets...

  

  "If it sounds like writing I rewrite it. Or, if proper usage gets in the way, it may have to go. I can't allow what we learned in English composition to disrupt the sound and rythm of the narrative."
     - Elmore Leonard 

 The person born with a talent they are meant to use will find their greatest happiness in using it. 

    - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

        "A poet can survive everything but a misprint."

 

        - Oscar Wilde

I've Learned (#2) ..."...that if you're going to pray, you might aswell be honest. He knows already, anyway. "

 Growing up in church, I must admit I've heard all kinds of prayers. Wordy prayers. Short prayers. Prayers that were full of heart, and prayers that lacked luster and thought.. Prayers full of scripture, and prayers full of drama. Prayers of faith, anxious prayers, and prayers that I just simply could not understand... another case of the deacon and his lost dentures? ...Perhaps.

My LOVE Banner

"He has brought me to his banquet hall, And his banner over me is love."  (Song of Solomon 2:4)

This one, is everything...

When I think about banners, and what they symbolize...  I can only conclude that we are simply unable to escape God's eternal, uninterrupted, unconditional, very LOUD love... And who would want to?

God is at Work

In tragedies, in triumph..

God is at work

In the fight, in loss.

God is at work.

In your grief and your joy..
God is at work.

In the win, in the score..

God is at work.

In a newborn's chuckle, his mother's cry...

God is - at work. 

In a victory that seems very far off.

God is at work.

When it rains and pours, no sun in sight...

God is at work. God's still at work...

When you can't comprehend, and you don't understand..

God is at work.
He's putting in time.

When you loved so much harder than you were loved in return..

God's been working, working so hard.

When you find yourself soaring, over challenges and all.

God is at work.  
He's working in you.

When each preparation meets opportunity..

God is at work. He's working through you.

When life is a series of beautiful things...

Please do believe... it's God who's at work.

When you survey your life, and you're not where you started.

 God is at work; He'll continue to be.

In all that we enjoy, and even endure...

 God is never absent - never hands off.

God is with us & God is at work.

***

Can you think of a season in your life when you thought all was lost?
  
God was at work.

***

The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry.

(Psalm 34:15)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will direct your paths.

(Proverbs 3:5-6)

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, said the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

(Jeremiah 29:11)

 That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.

2 Timothy 1:12

The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.

(Psalm 37:23)

Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place.

(2 Corinthians 7:14)

But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.

(Job 23:10)

"Constrained by Perfection"

I'm thinking Jesus told me flat out.. about two and a half years ago..

"Perfectionism is stunting your growth."

"Dear Church Baby..." Part 2

Dear Church Baby,

Believe again. Believe always..

You're preparing in time, for life in eternity. 

Voice of the Child of Divorce ((Feature Video))

My parents separated when I was 8.
They divorced when I was 13.

When I came across this video,  it was all too real to me..
It reminded me of the heartache I endured.. his words mirrored mine.

"Dear Church Baby..." Part 1

I'm a church baby.

"I was born on a pew..." I've crawled under pews, and taken naps on the pew. I've played in the pews, passed notes in the pews, and ran through them with my toddler friends. I've heard more sermons than I can count, and I've been at church on more weeknights than the standard American citizen. I was in the children's choir and I've directed it...I was on the Junior Ushers Board, until I quit ...I was in the young adult choir until I aged out... and because music and ministry have a lot to do with what I believe I should be doing with the rest of my life - I'm still in the choir :) I sing with my sisters..

Try.

Playing small doesn't serve the world....

All your fun isn't worth a fail.

I Believe

I believe the joy of the Lord is my strength...

I believe the Lord hears, the Lord listens, the Lord cares...

I believe the Lord loves me at my worse.

He loves me to my best..

The "Never" Lies

I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.

Psalm 16:7

I woke up one morning, and all I could hear was...

"Never give in to the never lies...."

"Never give in to the never lies..."

...I don't remember having a bad day prior, or a restless, sleepless night, but this one thing rang out in my heart over and over and over again... it was as if I'd need it for life.. and I do.

Funny thing is, we all do.

(#1) I've Learned "...that sometimes you can only love someone in the love language they understand."

It's practical, I guess.

When two people intend to share their love for one another, you would think that the message is successfully sent without any undue interference, confusion, refusal to accept, and etc. for all other possible hindrances.

You could assume one's determined demonstration would yield happy receiving..

But not always...not so much.. 

Have You Noticed?

Have you noticed..how the world turns??

How everyone needs inspiration;

And everyone needs a friend?

So much talk about getting out of the boxes we've put ourselves in.

..There must be an enemy...

a worldwide discourager

that we're all up against

because we're all fighting for: 

freedom, expression...
 joy - settled hearts.

How Do You Know You're a Writer?

How do you know you're a writer?

When you wake up with an abundance of thoughts and remain unsettled until you put them into words -- on paper, on a recorder, on a post it note, somewhere, anywhere...

How do we know we're writers?

When our experiences cast an overwhelming shadow over our years of living, and at young ages we become, old souls.. When you know too much, too soon - and there is much to wrestle with, much to reckon...You write..and there's rhythm, you write, and there's resolve.
  
You write, you learn, you grow, and perhaps... you should share.

To write is to conquer fear --  if with might you fight for a right to privacy: a right -  to your own life.

What selfish claim...

If you want to know what you're thinking, pick up a pen...

If you want to know what you're thinking, write.

If you want to know what moves you, pick up a pen.

If you want to know what moves you, WRITE.

Writers have one commission: With the amount of thoughts, questions, answers, resolutions and lessons that graze through the pastures of our hearts and minds daily... it is quite obviously God's will, that we write.

The world depends on its writers, its speakers, its teachers and preachers....  
... the people  who have fallen, gotten up, but given up their right to private note taking.  

A writer can't ignore the world out there, the people who have to keep living a long time after their dying. A writer understands that humanity needs to know... how to love and relate, how to survive, what to avoid, how to overcome... 

So then writing isn't so much a choice as much as you are chosen.

You really don't have a say in the matter.

You are a writer. 

You must write..