As soon as Janay indicated she would stand by Rice in the light of what really happened on that elevator (which, in my opinion, was obvious without the new video leak).. FB blew up again - NOT withholding unfiltered ridicule and name-calling. I don't know what the commentary was to accomplish, but it seemed as though the general public was unconcerned, and maybe even hoping that the Rices would stumble across their taunts.
I must preface this writing by admitting that perhaps because I've seen this guy a few times on campus, held a conversation or 2, went to football games and threw rice on the field.. he's not just a face on the TV screen. I preface this by saying, I DO NOT, in any way agree with or intend to minimize what he did, BUT, I do consider him human, and so is Janay. I do consider them to have hearts, and wills, and emotions. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in the public eye at your darkest moment, but it was a lot for me -- to wake up to a newsfeed full of popular consensus to throw them away.
I resolved to pray for them, but meanwhile on FB...
A good friend of mine updated her status:
1. "I'm concerned for our generation and the power of evil that social media can bring upon people."
2. "Lives have been ruined because we like to hear our own thoughts way too much."
3. "Scripture says 'Love is patient. Love is kind. Love endures. Love bears all. it keeps no record of wrong.." YET, when someone is willing to actually display it...we throw stones!"
The replies, though... were too often to what she did not say - whole, passionate paragraphs of misinformed opinions, charts, and statements of fate for Rice:
1. "True love to me is not about making mistakes and being forgiven for it each time esp in this case."
...Actually.
2. So if we r trying to love like God then don't u think we need to consider a person's feelings before we do certain things?
- Of course.
3. Someone then posted a chart on the cycles of abuse, strongly doubting the possibility that Rice could ever change, strongly doubting that his character could ever take on a 180. This person was skeptical of his intent and ability to change over the last 7 months, and therefore made multiple affirmative statements on the negative side of things: "God doesn't call us to put our life aside to be with someone who hates us to the point of death," they said.
- I agree. I don't think God purposely pairs us with people who will hurt us. We choose our mates. We deal with the consequences. We are welcome to the wisdom He provides if we seek Him in the choosing.
4. "...She (must have) suffered some kind of brain damage from the blow to her head," they continued.
- That's.. a bit rude.
Last up.
5. "God's love IS NOT ABOUT FORGIVENESS it's about communicating and thinking before u act."
Also, untrue :( ..
Nearly every response to her post was to note that he was wrong for what he did.
Nearly every response to her post was to note that he was wrong for what he did.
Didn't she think so? Wasn't he wrong?
Yes.
And she said that.
She was not defending his action as much as she was appalled by the wreckless use of social media.
..Would I advise... or myself, consider it wise for a loved one to marry him after the incident?
No.
But now that we're here..., and the world knows about it.. can we at least deal more wisely with words that we share? Can we deal more delicately with the lives that are not our own?
Matthew 7:1-5(MSG):Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole ...playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.
I think we are wrong to assume that because we've studied statistics, we can remove God's right to redeem and heal a person or marriage... to throw away perfect strangers just because we're aware of the mountain they have to climb seems a bit ridiculous, no?
I think it's wrong when we cite timelines for how quickly God can change a heart - providing charts as proof, as if God is at all limited by them..
I think studies are valid and weighty -- but God is bigger, God knows all.
I think, as believers, our viewpoints should be constructed around the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I think the gospel is simple, but we make it harder.
I think it's especially wrong when we haven't studied anything, but provide our opinions as if they're pure fact.
The passion behind these posts -- and even mine, I get it.. we have opinions. We have experiences that fortify them.. but everything we think, or resolve to say -- isn't always fact.
We are human. There's room for error.
***
As believers, our fact is that we serve a God who hates SIN but loves the sinner.
God hates what Ray did. God loves Ray.
The only standard for what love is, is what the word of God says -- so there really is no debate.
No one is trying to remove Ray Rice from the responsibility and horror of his error -- even GOD requires us to admit, repent and turn from our ways.
Sin deserves punishment, but the GIFT of GOD (in His response to our repentance) is life...and life more abundantly.
This is the gospel .. and Ray is welcome to it.
Why do we crucify one another when Jesus already went to the cross?
Every man has a right to be redeemed. Any man, no matter the offense or amount of offenses, can approach God through Christ, boldly, in hopes of mercy, grace, and newness of life. God worked it out that way.
Who are we? As finite humans -- to throw people away?
We see what we see, and that is it. We aren't all knowing to be so devotedly merciless.
AND OF COURSE, you shouldn't abuse the grace of God with repeated, outright sin - that would mean you're not repentant... but isn't that for God to determine? Whether or not someone is repentant and deserves mercy?
Only God knows Rice's heart.
Only God knows whether he has every intention of repeating his violence, or whether he is sincerely making every effort to change.
So then, it is NEVER our job to THROW people away. Especially as onlookers, from the cowardly place of social media..
We should be quick to restore - to pray, counsel... Not condemn, insult, and JUDGE as if we've been sufficiently informed, as if we have the final say..Guilty for what he did? Yes.
Anger problem that needs some help? Yes.
Jail worthy? Looks like it...
But should we take to social media to crucify the Rices because they... (after 7 months of ACTUALLY living together and taking counsel) don't seem to know the severity of their issue?
NO.
It's insensitive and insulting to leave a comment that says Janay's response to her abuser indicates "brain damage" from her blow.
I think it's her life, and if we care that much about her well-being we should ask God to give us HIS eyes concerning her. We should SHUT our mouths -- only opening them to pray.
I think we should love and treat one another as we desire to be loved and treated.
That is the golden rule.
If you woke up one day, and the world was against you -
and people all over stopped at nothing to throw you away, passionately and permanently,
regardless of all the things they knew and didn't know...
You would be HURT beyond belief. I'm sure you would probably be sorry too. And that's fine. Because light exposes sin to expel it.
It would STILL be your right though, to experience deliverance and newness of life - because if any man chooses Christ, and is IN Christ, He is a new creature.
That should be our prayer - that Rice finds Christ and a strength in Him like never before, the same for his wife.... that somehow they'll come to know that God is for them (Romans 8:31). That God is for their restoration and healing...They'll need it after all of this social media abuse.
One day, we'll have to realize that it's better to spread LOVE, and HOPE.. not HATE and harsh statements.
We all want that anyway.
We all want to know that someone sees more in us than what we've displayed.
We all want redemption.
We all want people to see even a little SPECK of possible change in us when we are at our lowest point.
So - here it is. The beautiful thing about God's love --- is that IT IS about forgiveness contrary to a former claim.
That's what makes Him a beautiful God, and us -- fallen human beings, who, just like the Rices, are in need of constant reconstruction in one way or another.
Thank God we have access to it..
Thank God for Jesus.
"Go easy on those who hesitate in the faith. Go after those who take the wrong way. Be tender with sinners, but not soft on sin. The sin itself stinks..."
Jude 1:22-23 (MSG)
There is a God.
It's impossible for a miracle to be impossible.
#sheaWrites
(I speak as someone who has not been a victim of abuse, but have known and loved people around me who have been. I've seen the years non-change and danger - both results of no counsel and no will to change. I fully acknowledge the horror of the act, and believe it to be unacceptable. I do not endorse staying in situations that endanger us, but I do believe we should give people over to God through prayer before we condemn them to hell with our words.)
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